


Accidentally in Wham

by MortalAnonymous



Category: WordGirl (Cartoon)
Genre: Fanfiction, M/M, Originally Posted on FanFiction.Net
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-10-26
Updated: 2011-11-08
Packaged: 2019-12-06 19:45:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,071
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18224612
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MortalAnonymous/pseuds/MortalAnonymous
Summary: The Narrator is on vacation, which is causing problems for Word Girl. Meanwhile, The Whammer has let slip something Chuck would rather not have known. Chuck/Whammer slash.





	1. Chapter 1

Carrying Captain Huggyface, Word Girl soared through the sky sporting a wide smile. As they flew, the smile grew smaller and smaller, until it was a slight frown.

"Um, shouldn't the narrator have introduced the show by now?" Word Girl inquired of her sidekick. He chirped in response.

"Vacation?!" Word Girl exclaimed, "Well what's he doing there? We need him for the story..!"

Huggyface just shrugged.

Word Girl sighed. "Oh well. We'll just have to make do without. Although I must say, this really impedes our progress."

Huggy shrugged again, and in a flash Word Girl had flown them to the local prison. In the entrance hallway, the two stood ready as alarms blared around them.

"Word Girl and Captain Huggyface, having heard the prison alarm, stand ready to fight off any evil villain who may be trying to make an escape!" narrated Word Girl.

Huggy raised an eyebrow and squeaked questioningly.

"Well, y'know, I figured somebody had to do it…" was the response.

Just then, a prison guard walked into the room, smiling and holding a hand up in greeting. As he approached, the alarms silenced.

"It's alright Word Girl, everything's fine." he informed, "One of our employees just fell asleep on the alarm button."

Word Girl stood at ease. "Really, that-that's it?" she asked. The man nodded. "Wow, I, kind of expected there to be more to this," Word Girl wondered, "I mean, it's the opening scene." Suddenly, she noticed a shape moving behind the guard.

"Aha!" she exclaimed, drawing attention to the figure, who turned out to be Chuck the Evil Sandwich Making Guy, "Someone _is_ trying to escape!"

"Um, hi Word Girl," waved Chuck timidly, "And actually, I wasn't trying to escape until that alarm went off and my cell door opened up."

"Wait," puzzled Word Girl, "Your cell opened _after_ the alarm went off?"

"Of course!" chipped in the guard, "All of the cells open if the alarm sounds, so our inmates can run to safety! Wouldn't want to put any of them in danger, now would we?"

"Uhh, I guess not," agreed Word Girl, "But still, that's not very smart. What if there was a mass breakout?"

"Oh, there's no danger of that." smiled the guard, "See each cell's got someone posted by it. Chuck here just doesn't get one on account of he's such a good boy." Here he pinched one of Chuck's cheeks. Chuck blushed and shied away.

"Whatever," sighed Word Girl, "Just get Chuck back to his cell, would you?"

"Ohh." groaned Chuck as the guard stepped forward to comply.

Suddenly, the alarm started again and a series of heavy thumps could be heard coming toward the entrance.

"Chuckiiiie!" a loud gravelly voice rang out as the thumps approached. The group looked up in surprise to find The Whammer barreling down the hallway at top speed, flinging the last of the guards that had tried stopping him aside.

"Ahh!" Chuck cried out, "Oh man, I completely forgot he was here too! I gotta get outta here!" He flapped his wrists frantically.

"No no, that's 'I've got _to'-_ ahh!" Word Girl was cut short in her grammar correction as Chuck bolted past her, knocking her to the ground.

"Sorry!" Chuck called over his shoulder as he fled.

Word Girl looked to the guard and Huggy. "Well, aren't you going to do anything?" she demanded.

"Oh no," answered the guard, "If the alarm's goin' off then there must be danger." Huggy squeaked in agreement.

"Ugh, The Whammer _is_ the danger!" Word Girl said forcefully, "Oh never mind, I'll do it myself." She flew up from the floor and at the oncoming villain. "Hold it right there, Whammer!"

"Chuckie Bread Guy!" The Whammer shouted, completely ignoring Word Girl, "Hey, wait up! The Whammer's comin' with you!" He spotted Word Girl.

"Wham." he said simply, slamming his fists together without even slowing. The super heroine fell to the ground as the sonic blast hit her, and The Whammer ran right past all of them and out of the building.

"Thanks a lot guys." Word Girl sarcastically remarked, nursing a couple of new bruises. Huggy and the guard shot her a thumbs-up from where they stood.

…

Chuck came to a gasping halt in the park and leaned against a tree, attempting to catch his breath. He glanced around.

"Whoo!" he sighed in relief, "I think I lost him."

"Chuckie!" beamed The Whammer, revealed to be on the other side of the tree. He pulled Chuck into a strangling hug before the man had any chance of escape. "The Whammer missed you so much!"

"Wish I could say the same…" grumbled Chuck.

"Whassat, Chuckie Boy?"

"Nothing. Uhh, could let go a' me?"

"No." smiled The Whammer, and gripped Chuck tighter. Chuck's eyes got wider at the constriction and he forced his way out of The Whammer's arms.

"Sheesh, why d'you always have to be so grabby?" he quietly demanded, dusting himself and pulling at his tight sleeves to straighten them, "You really aggravate me, y'know that?"

"Aww, that's sweet." gushed The Whammer. Chuck rolled his eyes. "But seriously boss," Whammer went on, "Now that we're out of jail and back together, what kinda crime should we do?" He bounced excitedly.

Chuck mulled this over. "Hmm, well, I am out of prison. I suppose I might as well do a crime before Word Girl catches me again. Ok, let's rob-!"

"The Museum of Stuff-Breaking Things, yeah!" Whammer interjected.

"What? No, I-" Chuck started, but suddenly found himself hefted over The Whammer's shoulder.

"We could totally whammer some stuff with breakin' things! Wham, yeah!" Whammer spouted as he ran off with Chuck.

"B-but… _sandwiches_ …my head..!" Chuck whined. He sighed and sagged in defeat when The Whammer showed no signs of hearing him.

…

Word Girl sat atop a tall building, holding and reading over a script. Huggy stood impatiently beside her.

"Let's see, 'meanwhile Becky Botsford is sitting in the living room trying to figure out a plan of action'." Word Girl read, "Oh no! We're supposed to be at the house!" In two flashes she'd flown them to the Botsford residence and seated them on the couch, disguised. 'Becky' continued to read the script.

"Ok, T.J. comes in, makes fun of me for trying to be Word Girl, I comically defend myself, ah! Here we go: 'Hearing another alarm bell, Becky and Bob rush off to the Museum of Stuff-Breaking Things to confront Chuck and The Whammer'!" she announced, "Ahh! We're a whole scene behind! That alarm started fifteen minutes ago!"

In another two flashes she'd changed herself and Huggy back into their superhero outfits and gotten them to the museum. Chuck and The Whammer were leaning against some pillars outside.

"…Yeah, so that's why I think they might have a good chance this year." Chuck was saying, to which The Whammer nodded agreeably. They noticed the panting Word Girl's arrival.

"Ah, _there_ you are Word Girl..!" Chuck noted, "We've been waiting forever for you; we were just about to leave…"

"Yeah, The Whammer wants to wham stuff, yeah!" complained The Whammer.

"Sorry guys," apologized Word Girl, "But the narrator's gone on vacation without telling me, so I have to figure out all of my cues from this script, plus do all of the announcing myself. It's really impeding my timeliness."

Chuck puzzled. "Im…impe…"

"Impede," Word Girl defined, "It means to hinder or obstruct the progress of something, like my ability to be on time for scenes, or like how I'm about to _impede_ you guys' getaway."

"Oooh," nodded Chuck, "Or how The _Whammer_ here keeps _impeding_ my plans for sandwich crimes. He always follows me around and then drags me off to go break things. It's really annoying…"

"Yes, exactly like that!" smiled Word Girl, "Now, if you'll just come with me…"

"Say, I've been meaning to ask you," Chuck addressed The Whammer, "Why do you always follow me around anyway? It's like you're, oh, I know there's a word for it. Uh, it's another 'i' word…infah…infoo…"

"'Infatuated'?" offered Word Girl, "It means having an irrational passion or attraction to something or someone. Now, if you guys would just let me take you to prison…"

"Yeah, that's it..!" nodded Chuck. He looked sternly to The Whammer. "It's like you're _infatuated_ with me! What'd I ever do to _you_?!"

"The Whammer always thought Chuckie was whammin'," beamed The Whammer, "Besides, you gave The Whammer mustard, yeah!"

Chuck quirked a brow. "Really? That's it? Ugh, but that was such a long time ago..!"

The Whammer sniffed. "I know," he said, tearing, "But that was the only time that somebody did something for _The Whammer_ , instead of _The Whammer_ always doin' stuff for _somebody_. And I totally wham ya for it!" He threw himself on Chuck again, crying.

Chuck showed confusion at this display. "'Totally…wham'..?" Suddenly he pieced two and two together. He quickly backed away, chuckling nervously, "O-oh…oh my…oh dear…yikes. Um, I suddenly…gotta go." Here he turned and hurriedly fled the premises.

"Hey, no, wait-!" Word Girl called out as one of her perps escaped.

"Chuckie..?" The Whammer questioned, confused, "Chuckiiiie!" he then burst, and flew after the poor sandwich man.

"Ah, no, Whammer-!" Word Girl tried to stop him from leaving too, but she was paid no mind. She slouched and gave an exasperated sigh. "Come on Huggy," she directed to her sidekick, "We'd better at least return the stolen loot."

Huggy sniffed as he turned back from watching the dramatic scene, nodded, and helped Word Girl move the very large sack of museum artifacts back inside.

…

"Back disguised as Becky and Bob, Word Girl puzzled and stewed over her script, hoping that _some_ part of it might start being useful..!" an irked sounding Becky narrated from a park swing set, nearly crumpling the paper packet in her hands.

Next to her, 'Bob' chirped wonderingly.

"Well, it's just not making sense anymore," she said to him, "I mean, Chuck and The Whammer aren't following it at all..! How can I make my scenes if no one's following the script?!" She flailed her arms and kicked in frustration, causing her to loose balance and fall backwards with a thump.

Bob patted her aloft shin with a sympathetic squeak.

Becky sighed. "I know, you're right," she said, "I'm just really upset at how much I'm being impeded today, y'know?" Bob nodded as Becky righted herself to sit back on the swing.

"What's wrong with those two, anyway?" she asked, "They're supposed to be on a destructive rampage. Why did they run off like that without their loot?"

A questioning squawk from Bob.

"No, I did _not_ notice what was going on between them!" Becky huffed, "I was a little busy concentrating on how they got away, thank you." She paused, and then asked meekly, "Uh, why, what _was_ going on between them..?"

Bob rolled his eyes and then pantomimed smashing his fists together.

"Uh, ok, The Whammer..?" guessed Becky. Bob nodded, and then clasped his hands next to his cheek and rocked back and forth.

"Um, swoon! Gush! Awe? Fawn? Love!" Becky tried. Bob clapped when she got it right. Becky then prompted, "Ok, so, The Whammer loves…"

Bob folded one hand over the other repeatedly.

"Books?"

Bob screeched negatively.

Becky jumped. "Ok, sheesh, sorry." She rolled her eyes.

Bob tried again, tracing around his face in bread shapes.

"Masks?" Becky guessed. Again Bob screeched.

"Well I'm sorry Bob, but I just don't know what you mean..!" Becky groused.

Bob contemplated, tapping his chin with a finger, and then hopped off his swing. Slouching to look as fat as possible, he hopped about and flapped his wrists hectically.

Becky watched curiously. Slowly something dawned on her. "…Chuck..?" she ventured a guess. Bob stopped hopping and cheered.

"The Whammer loves…Chuck?" Becky pieced together, "Oh! Oh. Oooooh…"

Bob nodded at her as if to say 'm-hmmm'.

"Well, that certainly explains why Chuck ran off," Word Girl reasoned, "I probably would too if I found out The Whammer loved _me_ …But that still doesn't tell us where they went. They are escaped criminals, after all, and we still have to capture them."

Bob offered a helpful sort of chirp.

Becky gasped. "That's right..!" she realized, " _I'm_ the narrator for this episode..! I can just _narrate_ us to wherever they are..!" She giggled maniacally as she clutched her now very rumpled script to her chest. She then froze and blinked her eyes open, catching the look Bob was giving her. She cleared her throat embarrassedly.

…

Meanwhile, Chuck and The Whammer were busy skirting around a large tree.

"Come on, boss, what's wrong?" The Whammer asked, darting to the right.

"You..!" answered Chuck, darting left, "I don't like you like that, ok? In fact, I don't even like you at _all_ , so just, go away, will you? And I'm not your boss..!"

"Sure ya are!" replied The Whammer, seemingly missing the first half of that, "And The Whammer's not goin' anywhere, because he's your sidekick, yeah!" He gave and excited fist pump.

Chuck shook with rage at this. "Enough, enough!" he burst, "Just stop it with the stupid sidekick thing! I can't take it anymore! You are not my sidekick and you never were! I find you annoying, impossible, and all around unpleasant to be with, is that clear? I hate you!"

He gasped as soon as he said it and covered his mouth with both hands, but it was too late.

"Wham..?" The Whammer asked sadly.

"Ah, no, that's not what I meant, uh, I'm sorry," Chuck tried consoling him, "I didn't mean to hurt your feelings."

"No. Chuckie… _hates_ The Whammer," moped The Whammer, "The Whammer gets it. He'll…go now." With that he turned and left, looking as morose as could be.

Chuck sagged against the tree with a heavy sigh. "Great," he scolded aloud, "Way to let him down easy there, Chuckie Boy…" His eyes bulged as he realized what he just called himself. "Oh, shut up." he then sulked to himself.

…

"Expertly, Word Girl was able to predict the exact location of The Whammer and arrive swiftly, once again showing her amazing prowess as a super heroine!" Word Girl glowed proudly as she came in for a landing next to The Whammer. Captain Huggyface folded his arms and gave her a squeak.

"It is not excessive," she defended, putting Huggy down, "It adds…pizzazz..!" Huggy sighed heavily as Word Girl turned to notice The Whammer.

"Uh…Whammer..?" she asked gently, for The Whammer was seated on the ground in one of the daisied areas of the park, where he slumped, the epitome of lachrymose, sending the occasional sonic wave to behead a streak of the flowers.

He turned to look at her. "Oh, hey Word Girl." He greeted glumly.

"Uh, hey," she returned awkwardly, "So…what's wrong?"

"Chuckie hates me."

"Oh. I…see." Word Girl didn't really know how to reply to that. She shared a glance with Huggy.

"Yeah, well, I didn't suppose you'd care about The Whammer's feelings either." sulked The Whammer.

"Now just a minute!" Word Girl said, sounding affronted, "We may be on opposite ends of the law, but that doesn't mean I don't care..! Why does Chuck hate you?" She put a hand on his shoulder as proof of her caring.

The Whammer put his head in his hands. "He thinks The Whammer's annoying."

Word Girl cast her eyes to the side in thought, "Well, you are kind of loud. And rude. And pushy. And destructive."

The Whammer looked at her flatly.

"Sorry," she apologized, "But have you ever tried maybe not being so pushy all the time? Maybe actually let _him_ choose a robbery? You _are_ supposed to be _his_ sidekick after all. Or at the very least you could remember his name…"

"Ohh," groaned The Whammer, "But it's so hard..! The Whammer's not good with long names."

Word Girl groaned too. She was never going to get him back to jail at this rate.

"Look Whammer, are you gonna…be here for a while?" Word Girl questioned.

"Wham." The Whammer nodded sullenly.

"Um, I'll just take that as a yes, so…I'm gonna go after Chuck, ok? I still have to find him." Word Girl said as she started to lift off. The Whammer just moped and whammed some more flowers.

Just then Word Girl felt a tug at her cape. She looked down at Huggy, who chirped a suggestion. Her face shifted sympathetically.

"Tell ya what; I'll even put in a good word for you with him when I find him. How's that?" she offered to The Whammer.

The Whammer's head rose. "You would…do that?" he asked, looking touched.

"Uh…sure!" perked Word Girl, swinging a fist encouragingly, "After all, what're enemies for? And anything to get this story back on track…" she added in an almost silent mumble.

Suddenly she and Huggy were engulfed in a spine crushing hug. "Aw, thank you guys! You're the best enemies a villain could ask for!" He swung them back and forth jovially.

"Guh..! Can't…breathe…choking..!" Word Girl struggled. Huggy quite visibly agreed.

…

Elsewhere, in the city streets, Chuck was taking a stroll as he sorted his head out to himself, ignoring the strange looks passersby gave him.

"…doesn't matter," he was saying, "So I hurt the guy's feelings; so what? I mean look at the bright side: no more giant bear hugs, no more getting dragged off to do stuff I don't want to, no more 'Charles the Bread Box' or whatever…I'm a lone wolf anyways. Why should I care who I hurt? Real villains don't care who they hurt."

His expression shifted from guilty to resolute. "Yeah, I _shouldn't_ care..! I'm a real villain. I just need to remind myself of that. I need to go on a crime spree that's all Chuckie…I mean, Chuck, and get my ego in check!" He caught sight of the sandwich vendor in front of him, who was blinking confusedly at Chuck.

"Gimme that sandwich!" Chuck demanded, and snatched it from the man's grasp. The man gasped and ran away screaming. Chuck unwrapped the sandwich and bit into it, gloating, "Ha-ha! See? I am Chuck, the Evil Sandwich Making Guy, and I do not feel guilty about being rude to that guy!" He paused. "Well, maybe a little. Maybe I should leave a tip or something…" He sifted through his pocket for change.

Before he could find any though, the voice of Word Girl suddenly cut in from above. It proudly announced, "Continuing her streak of amazing criminal locating, Word Girl divined precisely where Chuck the Evil Sandwich Making Guy was, and swooped in gracefully to apprehend him!

"Y'know, I think I'm really starting to enjoy this narrator job." she told Huggy as they set down. Huggy just shook his head to himself.

"Oh, not you again," groaned Chuck, "I just started my crime spree..!" He held up the half eaten sandwich. "Besides, don't I have enough to worry about without you two right now?"

"Sorry, Chuck," Word Girl said heroically, pressing a hidden button on her belt, "but justice waits for no one! In fact, I've just called the police paddy wagon, so we'd better wrap this up quick. Although, now that you mention it, about The Whammer…" She twiddled her index fingers.

Chuck cringed. "W-what about him?"

"Well, and keep in mind that I'm usually 100% against romance on this show, but you guys make such a good criminal duo anyway. Have you ever thought about maybe…expanding on that?" Word Girl shrugged.

Chuck looked surprised. "No way..!" he groused, folding his arms and turning away, "I can't believe I'm hearing this from you. You know how annoying he is..! Besides, I don't like him. I feel bad I hurt his feelings, but that's all. I don't care _what_ I call myself by accident."

"Eh, fine. I wasn't expecting it to go anywhere anyway." Word Girl passed off, but then she quirked an eyebrow. "Wait, what did you call yourself by accident?"

"None of your beeswax..!" Chuck retorted, "I don't like him. I don't really _hate_ him though. It is kind of nice to have someone to vent with sometimes, even if he does cause most of the problem himself. And at times he can be kind of sweet; downright cute, in fact. And I have to admit, he _is_ pretty good at crime. Oo! And this one time he made me a really nice butter pie. Yum…"

Word Girl was speechless. Huggy was speechless. They gaped at Chuck in silence.

He looked from one to the other. "What..?" he said after a while. At last his words caught up with him and he went, "Ooo…no way." as if discovering an impossible truth.

Here, Captain Huggyface broke the awkward silence by giving his throat a good clearing, raising an index finger, and chirping something indecipherable.

"…I'm not sure what you said, little gerbil, sorry." Chuck responded eventually. Huggy squeaked angrily about the gerbil comment, but it was missed over the series of sudden, ground shaking thumps that vibrated throughout the street. In homage to Jurassic Park, the trio observed a gutter puddle rippling with the vibrations.

The small group then turned to see the arrival of none other than whom else but The Whammer racing heavily over a hill in the road. He appeared to have run all the way from the park, non-stop.

Panting immensely, The Whammer came to a halt beside Word Girl. As Word Girl opened her mouth questioningly, Whammer held up a finger to hold off interrogation while he wheezed. Word Girl held off, crossing her arms with a roll of her eyes, and waited obligingly.

At last The Whammer managed, "The Whammer…just realized…'bout what you said in the park...that you was meanin'…to arrest Chuckie here. And I'm sorry Word Girl…but I can't let you do that, Chuckie hatin' The Whammer…or no Chuckie hatin' The Whammer. Yeah."

Chuck blinked with surprise at the arrival. "Wha? Whammer? R-really? But...but I was so mean to you earlier. I scared you away."

Whammer looked to Chuck, inhaled, and then said, "The Whammer knows. But The Whammer now realizes that his feelings run too deep, to care if Chuckie hates him. The Whammer will always be there to help Chuckie out, even if Chuckie doesn't want him to. After all, The Whammer, no-" Here he clutched a fist to his chest emotionally, looking intently at Chuck, " _I_ , love you...Chuck the Evil Sandwichy Guy."

In the background, Word Girl scoffed, "Ugh, enough with the mushy stuff already..!"

Chuck stared at The Whammer, not hearing Word Girl. "You…you tried to get my name right...and spoke in first person..." He seemed genuinely touched, eyes brimming with tears as he clasped his hands together. "All this over mustard packets?" He asked quietly with disbelief. The Whammer nodded seriously, a smile on his lips.

Chuck laughed at how absurd that was. "I don't believe it! That's so logic-less. You really are infatuated..!" he exclaimed, smiling as well. Wiping more humorous tears away, he sighed and told The Whammer, "Y'know, in all honesty, my head's been a blur since you confessed earlier. But I did a little thinking too, and, well, with Word Girl's help I've come to see that I may've actually gotten used to you. Or even started to like you." He rubbed the back of his head meekly. "So, I'll let you be my partner in crime…if you really want."

Word Girl puzzled aloud, "Wait, when were you guys ever not partners?" She was ignored.

Whammer sniffed, and teared up as well. "Oh, Chuckie! Of course I do!" He exclaimed, and then without warning, he rushed Chuck and kissed him fully on the mouth, pressing as close as he possibly could.

Word Girl and Huggy's jaws dropped in unison. Chuck froze, stunned. The Whammer only grasped tighter. The moment lagged. Time stretched. The Whammer kept kissing Chuck and everyone kept staring.

Amid this scene of complete inaction, the paddy wagon Word Girl had summoned earlier silently rolled up, and two gawking police officers stepped out and awkwardly stuffed the paralyzed Chuck and the amorous Whammer inside. It drove away in an equally awkward silence.

Captain Huggyface nudged Word Girl, who stirred slightly and detachedly closed the show with a vague and dazed, "Uhthuh wuzza? Oh, uh, oonin fer, 'nother exciting episode, blah-blah Word Girl…"


	2. Chapter 2

"Hiya, folks! Narrator here, just back from vacation in the Bahamas," a perky voice greeted, "Oh man, was it great. Y'know a voice can really get a tan in a place like that…oh, but wait, you're probably more interested in why we're zooming into a shot of the prison, aren't you? Well, fine. The Whammer's, ahem, over-zealous love confession during our last episode has left some rather awkward tension amongst these two villainous cellmates. I wasn't really here for that, so I don't know why, but hey, let's see where it goes anyway."

The shot had faded in to show Chuck and The Whammer sitting in their bunks at opposite ends of their shared cell. Chuck seemed to be pouting with his arms folded and refusing to look at The Whammer. Whammer twiddled his thumbs guiltily, glancing over at Chuck every few seconds to see if it was any safer to talk to him.

Chuck's mood seemed unwavering, but The Whammer felt he had to say _some_ thing, and eventually settled on, "…sorry."

"Zip it," groused Chuck, hunching further and still not looking at him.

"Aww, come on, Chuckie..!" Whammer pleaded, "How was I supposed to know? You said you liked The Whammer, yeah, and wanted to be partners!"

"In _crime_. Partners in _crime_. As in we steal stuff together and fight Word Girl," Chuck elaborated, "I said I was _starting_ to like you, and I did _not_ , say you could _kiss_ me! At all!"

The Narrator cut in, surprised, "Woah, wait; Whammer, you actually _kissed_ Chuck? A little forward, don't you think?"

Whammer blinked. "Forward? He was totally whammin' for it, all whammin' me on and stuff…yeah!"

Chuck scoffed. "I so was not! You just take everything to mean what you want it to." Then he sighed and pinched his nose. "Alright look, I'm sorry if I said anything that sounded even remotely misleading, but I am most definitely not ready to be kissing anybody. That's _way_ too…intimate."

He moved to hug himself shyly, turning so his slight blush wouldn't be seen.

One of The Whammer's eyebrows lowered in confusion. "The Whammer does not understand Chuckie's problems with affection."

"No, I didn't expect you would, Mr. Grabby," Chuck answered, replacing shyness with sarcasm, "But here's the deal: I don't like being smothered, and I don't know if I like you enough to call us anything but a business relationship, so if you want any hope of possibly boosting that status, lay off the zeal, ok?"

The Whammer looked as though he was going to pose a question, but at that moment, a smiling orange-haired prison guard walked up to the cell door, distracting them both.

"Good news, Chuck," she informed, "Your mother just paid your bail, so you're free to go!" She took a ring of keys from her belt and unlocked the door.

Chuck sat at attention, beaming. "No way, really?"

"Yup," confirmed the guard, "Sorry to have to break you two up, but the paperwork's just cleared to confirm it."

"Alright! Thanks, Ma!" Chuck cheered and got up to leave eagerly. As he left, The Whammer's face saddened and he blew the departing party a kiss.

Chuck tried to look indignant, but the forming blush kind of ruined it.

"Awww, you guys are so cute," the guard gushed as she re-locked the door and went to escort Chuck from the station.

"No we're not..!" Chuck argued, flustering even more.

…

"Wow, guess I really missed something, huh?" The Narrator narrated into the next scene, "But no time to fill me in, I guess, because meanwhile, Becky Botsford is having a nice, quiet morning breakfast with her family."

"Gimme that toy prize! I saw it first!" yelled TJ, pulling at a bowl of cereal in front of a box with a picture of Pretty Princess splashed across it.

Becky yanked back. "But you already _have_ the special edition Count Cloudy with Built-In Factory Error!"

"So?" argued TJ, "I need two of everything: one for owning and one for selling. They go for big bucks on the underground cereal market."

The Narrator sighed, "Ok, maybe not so nice and quiet after all. Thanks for ruining my setup, guys…"

The family paid him no mind, and Mrs. Botsford lowered her eyebrows impatiently. "Alright you two," she with authority, "Enough of this tiff..! What's the rule about prizes in cereal boxes?"

The kids exhaled heavily and recited, "Whomever's bowl the prize falls into gets it."

"But it's not fair!" Becky argued, "I _need_ that figure to complete the set..!"

"Would you rather _I_ took it?" she offered.

A huff met this. "No…" She glowered while TJ stuck his tongue out and waved the milk-drenched toy in gloating victory.

"Well alright then," she patted one of the arms her daughter had buried her head in, "Maybe you'll get lucky next time. You are getting more cereal today, right dear?"

This last statement was directed to her husband sitting at the other end of the table with a newspaper shielding him from view. He remained motionless, appearing not to hear.

"Dear..?" questioned Mrs. Botsford.

Bob, who was sitting next to Mr. Botsford, gave him a poke or two. The man's arms slipped heavily off the table, causing the newspaper to flutter away and land in front of Becky, also revealing that Mr. Botsford was fast asleep.

"Oh my, looks like your father stayed up too late making sandwich pick art," deduced Mrs. Botsford, "Don't worry, Becky, I'll pick up some cereal later."

Becky had forgotten about wanting cereal, and was more interested in the article that had floated to a stop in front of her. A black and white photo depicted Chuck the Evil Sandwich Making Guy skipping elatedly out of prison as he waved goodbye to the smiling officers.

"Chuck's out of prison?" Becky mumbled to herself. Suddenly she registered what her mother had said, and with urgency inquired, "Wait! Dad was making art with sandwich picks? What for?"

"Well for the contest, silly..!" Mrs. Botsford informed with a flip of her wrist, "The park's having one just for the heck of it. All you do is make a sculpture out of those cute little pokey things with the pretty paper, and you can win as many sandwiches as the number of picks you used..!"

TJ scoffed. "Yeah, Becky, where have you been? Dad's only been going on about it for two weeks. Didn't you wonder at all why he kept asking us to pose for him? And didn't you notice that weird family portrait sculpture on the lawn?"

Becky looked around him to see out the window and was indeed met with the mostly-built backs of the Botsford family holding hands, represented in colorful cellophane and wood.

"Huh," was all she could come up with, "Well anyway, I should probably go…do something. Outside. Kids do that sort of thing on weekends."

"Not me," TJ folded his arms, "I want to stay in and play video games all day."

"Have fun, Becky!" Mrs. Botsford called with a little wave as Becky rushed out the door carrying Bob, "TJ, you can help me wake your father, and then help _him_ finish his sculpture."

TJ groaned.

…

"Now flying above the city, Word Girl and Captain Huggyface are going to make sure the newly-released Chuck doesn't get any funny ideas about today's contest. Boy, I sure hope not; I entered a really great piece, and I don't want anything happening to it…"

Huggy squeaked oddly at that.

"Yeah, you made a sculpture?" agreed Word Girl, "How's that even possible? You're just a voice."

"How do I do anything when I interact with you guys?" countered the narrator, "Just try not to think about it."

"Ok…" Word Girl shrugged it off and turned to her sidekick. "Anyway, Huggy, let's check the park. If Chuck's going to cause any trouble today, he'll definitely be there to do it."

Huggy chirped an affirmative, and they swooped off.

…

The park was bustling, Word Girl observed, every square foot filled with stalls and booths that presented art projects of all shapes and size. Good guys and bad guys alike had entered the contest, it seemed. The grocery store manager, for instance, had set up his sculpture of a giant cheese wheel next to Dr. Two-Brains' model of his mouse blimp. They were the only ones causing a disturbance of any level.

"Stop trying to eat my entry..!" the manager groused, swatting Two-Brains' hands away from the thing.

"Ohh, I can't help it..!" whined the doctor, drooling, "It looks so yellow and cheesy!"

"Thank you," huffed the manager, "But that still doesn't give you reason to consume my craft."

Word Girl flew over. "I noticed you were having a tiff over here," she said on arrival, "Anything I can help with?"

"He keeps trying to eat my cheese wheel!" accused the manager, holding off Two-Brains at arm's length.

Word Girl's face shifted. "You know it's not real, right?" she asked of Two-Brains.

"Oh, sure," he answered, "But it's _cheese_ , darn it! That's my whole thing, y'know: mice, cheese. I mean the only reason I'm even entering this contest is so that if I win, I can request that when they make all the sandwiches, they're cheese. It doesn't matter what the cheese _is_. Plus I have super gnawing abilities and can eat stuff like toothpicks, remember?"

"Yeah, ok, I guess that works," nodded Word Girl, "So why can't you just move your stations?"

"Assigned places," Two-Brains told her flatly, he and the manager showing her the numbers clipped to their shirts.

"Oh. Well ok, um…" she looked around and spied some extra tables folded up in a pile. Quickly, she grabbed one and came back and jammed it into the middle of the one the two were at.

"Tiff resolved!" she declared as they flinched at the sudden cleaving.

The store manager then perked, "Saaay, not a bad idea, Word Girl. Now Dr. Two-Brains can't see my cheese wheel and won't bother me!"

"Yeah, yeah, whatever, great," Two-Brains rolled his eyes. Word Girl looked at him and recalled something.

"Hey, you're a villain," she started, "You don't know where Chuck might be if he were to come, I dunno, destroy this contest or anything, do you?"

Two-Brains pointed behind her. "Isn't that him signing in over there at the sign-in station?"

Word Girl turned around and blushed in silence for a few seconds. "Um, yeah. Ok, thanks."

In a flash, she was gone. Two-Brains rolled his eyes again before giving a couple of innocent sniffs for the cheese wheel he knew was in the manager's space.

Word Girl, meanwhile, had flashed suddenly in front of Chuck, surprising him as he was walking away from sign-in.

"Dwaah! Word Girl!" he cried while cringing.

"And Captain Huggyface!" Word Girl included, indicating to her up-to-now-un-needed sidekick, "We're here to stop whatever plans you have for destroying this contest!"

Huggy screeched in agreement as the two of them assumed karate poses.

Chuck waved his arms negatively. "No, no, you've got it all wrong!" he corrected frantically, "I don't want to do anything to this contest! I'm just here to enjoy it, honest!"

Word Girl and Huggy blinked, laxing. "R-really? You sure you don't want to steal all the prize sandwiches or something?"

"Uh-uh," Chuck shook his head, "I'm here strictly as a connoisseur of sandwich-related art mediums. I just got out on bail, and I don't wanna disappoint my ma by going right back in again."

Word Girl tilted her head. "Your mom bailed you out? Well that was nice of her. What made her decide to let you get out early this time?"

Chuck's eyes shifted. "No reason. I'm her son, she loves me."

Huggy raised an eyebrow to Word Girl, who wagged a thoughtful finger as something occurred to her. "Waaaait, this doesn't have anything to do with The Whammer, does it?"

Instantly Chuck became defensive. "What? No! Why would it? I mean…no!"

"Oh, come on," Word Girl scoffed, "A big huge sandwich contest on the day you _happen_ to get out early on bail, and you don't want to risk doing anything? You're avoiding him, aren't you?"

Chuck deflated in annoyance. "Fine, alright, yes. I wrote Ma every day begging for her to get me out because he ended up being my cellmate. It was a _little_ awkward, y'know?"

"Did you tiff?" she asked curiously.

"That depends on what 'tiff' means…" Chuck returned warily. Huggy nodded.

"A tiff is just a petty quarrel or fight between two people who know each other," Word Girl defined, "For example: I broke up a tiff over there between Dr. Two-Brains and that grocery store manager he robs so often."

Chuck looked to where she pointed. "I see. Then I guess you could say we had a bit of a tiff, over whether or not a certain _some_ thing he did was ok…" He folded his arms bitterly.

Suddenly a thought came to him. "Hey, wait, why do you care what happened? I thought you were all appalled by it." Huggy looked as though remembering this detail, too, and gave a demanding squeak.

Word Girl shrugged to them both guiltily. "While it's true that I normally am against romance on the show, I can't really do anything about it, so I might as well accept it. Besides, once you think about it, it's just…so cuuuute..!" Here she gripped her cheeks and wiggled a little. "I mean he really loves you so much and follows you around like a big lost puppy..!"

Chuck blanched at this. "Arrg, why does everyone say that? All the police said the exact same thing! It's not cute! We're not a couple!"

"No?" wondered Word Girl, "I thought for sure you would've…ah well. If you're not doing anything evil today, I guess I can leave you alone. See ye, Chuck!" She picked up Captain Huggyface and started to float away.

"Yeah, see ya," he grumbled in acknowledgement. As he watched them go, he started walking again, although his mood had fallen.

"Why does everyone always think The Whammer and I are together?" he talked to himself as he simultaneously perused the art, giving comment to the owners, "It's always 'partners' this or 'boyfriends' that. Do I really-ooo, that's a nice piece-give that sort of vibe? I know I sorta like him, well enough-I like your sculpture-but _love_ the guy? Can't be. He's so…loud, a-and obnoxious..! And…and…"

He stopped, a hand going to his overwhelmed head as he remembered all of his time with The Whammer. All of the begging and jumping and needless, energetic wreckage, but not unfondly, rather noticing how everything was done with an over-zealous need for approval. Softening, Chuck finished his earlier sentence. "…totally a lost puppy. He…only ever wanted to please me. He never _wanted_ to be in charge or anything, he just got carried away tryin' to prove himself. That's…more cute than anything else, actually. And kinda makes me feel sorry for him. I've always been such a jerk, just yelling and stuff."

His eyes widened and he clutched his cheeks. "Oh no, am I just fighting him because I'm intimidated? Do I really-"

He caught sight of a little girl staring at him in bafflement. He glanced around, not having realized how loud he was getting.

"Uh, hi." He waved timidly, then darted off to go hide.

As one of the on-lookers, Dr. Two-Brains turned to the grocery store manager, saying flatly, pick in mouth and hand on hip, "I dunno about you, but I'm getting _so_ tired of Chuck and Whammer's little 'will-they-or-won't-they' bit. They should just go at it and get it over with, am I right?"

The manager nodded, his own arms folded before noting in accusation, "Hey, is that one of my picks you're eating?"

"…no?"

…

Back at the prison, The Whammer was moping around in his cell, swinging one leg over the side of his bunk while staring at a newspaper clipping. It was the only way he could get a picture of Chuck.

"Oh, Chuckie, The Whammer misses you, yeah," he told the paper, "He wishes you hadn't left before you let him apologize." A few moments of silence passed while he ripped the edges of the clipping to form a crude valentine.

"…Hey, creepy voice that sometimes shows up places, you there?"

The Narrator stirred. "Huh, what? You mean me?"

"Yeah, you," returned The Whammer, "What do you think The Whammer should do? He needs to make things right somehow."

"Gosh, well, I'm flattered," said the narrator, and sounded it, "Nobody ever asks for my opinion. But there's not much you can do from there. You're in jail."

The Whammer glanced to the surrounding walls before slumping to look at his hands once more. Then he straightened up, raising his hands in realization. He smacked his forehead with one of them.

"Duh! Why didn't The Whammer see it before, wham?"

The Narrator was confused. "See what now?"

"It's just like you said, creepy voice man! The Whammer's in jail. He needs to be out of jail," he stood readily, "And they forgot to mute The Whammer's whams, yeah, so all I gotta do is… _whaaaaam_!"

A sonic blast shook the building as two fists slammed together, blasting the back wall of The Whammer's cell clean off. Now pumped, The Whammer ran cheering through the rubble with alarms blaring all around.

"Well now, aren't I embarrassed?" chuckled The Narrator, "Um, if anyone asks, I never spoke with him. And I'm not creepy."

…

The Narrator cleared his throat. "So, uh, moving on, Becky and Bob have decided that since there's no danger from Chuck, to assist the family in moving Mr. Botsford's sandwich pick sculpture to its place in the contest."

Becky looked up from her spot around the life-sized sculpture's base. It was light, but delicate. "Oh, hi Narrator. Where've you been?"

"Oh, you know, around…" he said with a vague innocence.

"Oo! Careful Becky..!" warned Mr. Botsford, "That glue isn't quite dried yet, so really watch where you're going."

"Sorry Dad," Becky said, and switched her attention back to getting the piece to its table in one piece. Once they managed to find the table and get the thing in place, they stood back to admire it.

Becky's head tilted appreciatively. "Wow, y'know, this is actually pretty good."

TJ nodded. "Yeah, it looks just like us. If…we were made of floofy paper."

"Good job, honey." Mrs. Botsford praised, hugging her husband.

"Gosh, what a supportive family," beamed Mr. Botsford, "And just think, if I win, we'll get two hundred and fifty four thousand nine hundred and three sandwiches!"

The family looked at each other unsurely. "Yay?" shrugged Mrs. Botsford. Bob was the only one to jump up and down eagerly, cheering in squeaks.

"That's the spirit! Good show, Bob," approved Mr. Botsford.

Just then, a voice over a megaphone announced, "Attention everyone. Contest judging is about to start. Please stand ready to present your-hey! What the-!"

The park goers looked up curiously and apprehensive as a brief struggle was heard, followed by a screech as the megaphone was apparently wrestled from the man in charge.

"Hello? Hello…is this on?" a gravelly voice replaced the earlier one.

Sarcastic, the first voice told him, "Of course it's on. I was talking into it when you took it from me."

"Oh right. Wham," the intruder, who was obviously The Whammer, thanked the other guy, "Well then, attention park people! Has anyone seen Chuck the Guy Who Does Bread-Related Things?"

Becky and Bob gasped and exchanged a look. Becky fretted, "Uh-oh. The Whammer's free? This isn't good. Come on Bob, we'll probably be needed." While the rest of her family looked toward the sound of the voice, she and Bob snuck out of sight.

Up on a small stage near the park entrance, The Whammer continued to poll the masses that were scratching their heads and having no idea who he was talking about. "Anyone? Anyone seen Chuckie…Bready…Bread-Maker…Sandwich Dude…uh, uh-oh, The Whammer's gone cross-eyed."

Under a table, where he'd gone to hide in embarrassment from all the staring, Chuck perked and peered from under the tablecloth upon hearing Whammer's voice. Then, with each improper pronunciation of his name he got a little more upset. Finally he stood up sharply, calling out, "It's 'the Evil Sandwich Making Guy'!" Sounding very peeved, he stormed through the crowd, who parted for him. "Sandwich Making Guy! Why can't you ever get it right?"

Clearly miffed, Chuck stormed up to join The Whammer on stage. "Go on, say 'Sandwich Making Guy', I dare you."

The initial elation Whammer displayed was replaced by an expression of thoughtful strain. "Um, 'Bready-Makey Dude'."

Chuck's palm met his face. "Ugh, never mind. What are you even doing here? Didn't I tell you I wanted to be alone?"

"Wham," confirmed Whammer, "But The Whammer hates having Chuckie so mad at him. He just _had_ to break out, yeah, and make everything ok first." He looked at Chuck with a dejected honesty that caught Chuck off-guard.

During the brief pause while Chuck was blinking dumbfoundedly, Word Girl and Captain Huggyface arrived on the scene. Word Girl dropped Huggy to the stage, where he assumed a fighting stance in preparation, should anything go awry.

Hovering, Word Girl ordered, "Alright, you two, this is neither the time nor the place for a tiff. You're causing a major disturbance. Break it up." She clapped her hands in a chop-chop fashion.

A calmer Chuck objected, "No-no, wait a sec, Word Girl." He swept her aside gently and continued to Whammer, "Look, I'm not really _mad_ at you. I just wish you'd listen a little better, that's all. I asked you to lie of the zeal so I could have some time to figure out my feelings for you, but here you are totally _not_ lying off the zeal..!"

The Whammer's confused look was back. "Say wham now? The Whammer doesn't even know any seals..! He was tryin' to ask you about that before, yeah."

Exasperated, Chuck looked to Word Girl for help.

The tug on her cape from Huggy stirred Word Girl from the observing daze she'd slipped into. "Huh? Oh, you want me to define zeal?" she asked, "Ok, well, zeal is when you give a great amount of energy towards a pursuit or a goal. Like Whammer, you tend to get excited about anything relating to whamming. You have a zeal for destruction. You also put a lot of effort into going after Chuck. You're very zealous in trying to win his affection. Get it?"

"Ooooh!" Whammer realized slowly, his eyes widening, "Then Chuckie, all you wanted was some space? Why didn't you just whammer so?"

"Like it would have done me any good to say it differently! You only hear like half of what I say anyway! You always-" Chuck caught himself mid-burst, seeing The Whammer look down in guilt.

"No. Y'know what?" Chuck tried again, shifting to a lighter tone, "It's kinda my fault too. I'm always yelling at you for everything _because_ you're so zealous, and it's a little intimidating. Honesty I wish _I_ could be a little more like that, all confident and stuff. But you came here to try and apologize and here I am being a jerk to you. Can _you_ forgive _me_?"

The Whammer began to tear, but not sadly. A smile was in fact forming on his lips. In answer, he said, a bit choked, "Aw Chuckie, The Whammer will always forgive you. And he apologizes too, for chasing you around all the time like this; The Whammer just really, _really_ loves you, yeah! He's desperate to make this wham."

He came forward to engulf Chuck in a hug, but suddenly backed off with his hands up, remembering aloud, "Woah, nope..! No hugs. Chuckie doesn't like touching. Wham."

Chuck relaxed from his reflexive flinch and looked at The Whammer cutely standing back and rubbing his arm, looking anywhere but at the sandwich man. The Whammer even waved to a couple members of the crowd enthralled by the drama unfolding before them.

That did it for Chuck. He melted with a smile, his hands clasping together. "Wow," he awed, "You actually respected my personal space? I guess you _do_ listen."

"Wham?" questioned one surprised Whammer. His eyes met Chuck's, even more stunned to find them gazing at him with a soft, approving warmth.

"Yeah. I think I could love a puppy like you."

The Whammer's head tilted, not understanding the reference, but said nothing as he continued to gawp in disbelief. Every on-looker in the park leaned forward with bated breath, including Word Girl and Captain Huggyface. What would happen next? Would they actually hook up? Officially? Were they going to-?

The irritated voice of Dr. Two-Brains rang out over the silence, "Oh, just kiss already! You know you both want it!"

Both villains onstage blushed in reaction. Whammer backed off a couple more steps, assuring, "Uh, that's ok, Chuckie. You really don't have to or nothin'. The Whammer remembers last time, yeah."

But Chuck didn't seem to be paying attention for once. A brilliant pink still gracing his cheeks, he bit his lip in an apparent inner struggle. This lasted for about two seconds before he rushed forward, clearly on impulse, and gave The Whammer a tackling kiss full on the lips.

The Whammer wasn't knocked down very easily, but he was certainly shocked by this choice on Chuck's part. As the crowd gasped collectively, again including Word Girl and Huggy, Whammer almost wished he could do the same. But in another couple of seconds he was cured of his paralysis by a sudden rush of glee, and instantly crushed his own arms around Chuck to joyously reciprocate the kiss.

"Awwww…" now went the crowd.

After a couple moments of heated friction, Chuck and The Whammer decided they needed to breathe and separated, but The Whammer still held Chuck in a cuddling embrace. Chuck didn't seem to mind so much this time.

"I'd still like you to try and learn my name though," he did mention.

"The Whammer…will work on it…yeah," promised a very dizzy-with-bliss Whammer.

Word Girl assessed the moment as opportune and cleared her throat to say, "Uh, ok, I let you guys work this out; now can you please clear the stage so the park event can continue? Oh, but congratulations."

Huggy gave a thumb up and chirp of approval before he and Word Girl herded them offstage, holding hands to much applause and cheering. The Whammer paused only to return the megaphone to its owner.

The owner looked happy to have things back on track. He lifted the device and began to announce, "Aaaalright people, now that that's out of the way, the contest judging shall begin in-"

Sirens and lights interrupted him as several police cars and one big truck arrived suddenly on the scene. The megaphone guy slumped in frustration as police came forth from these vehicles.

"Aha! Now we've got you, Whammer!" beamed one cop as he and another man came forward to apprehend him, "It's back behind bars for you."

Word Girl stared blankly. "Wow. Y'know with everything going on, I totally forgot about the whole 'Whammer's an escaped criminal' thing…" Beside her, Huggy wore the same expression while he squawked in agreement.

Now as The Whammer was escorted into the back of a paddy wagon in specialized restraints, he protested, "What? No! You can't take The Whammer from Chuckie; we just whammed up for real! So un-whammer, yeah!"

The crowd booed as Chuck waved a meek farewell to the struggling captive. Word Girl and Huggy shared a sympathetic glance. Huggy gave her a nod to which she smiled.

"Wait a minute, guys," she said authoritatively. The cops turned back curiously.

Word Girl continued, "It may interest you to know that while you were all out looking for The Whammer, Chuck here was doing a pret-ty good job of disturbing the peace onstage over there."

Chuck perked in surprise, but then grinned hopefully with a thankful glance to Word Girl. The Whammer did likewise.

"Oh _really_ …" said the one policeman, definitely sounding interested. Huggy nodded accusingly and pointed to Chuck with a chirp-ish growl. He then mimed being clapped in irons.

"I see," smirked the man, "Looks like we get two for the price of one, then. Book 'im, Danny!"

The other cop came forth to put cuffs on Chuck and place him next to The Whammer in the paddy wagon. Whammer bounced excitedly until Chuck was seated, then leaned against him lovingly. Chuck smirked in a way that made it obvious he found this adorable.

"Ahhh, it feels good to do the right thing," sighed Word Girl as the doors were closed and the police left. She glanced to Huggy. "Time to close the show?"

Huggy nodded and threw a chirp skyward.

The Narrator sounded surprised. "Oh, you want to end it? What about that cereal toy bit? Not goin' anywhere?"

"I'll get one eventually," Word Girl shrugged, "We don't have to wrap up _every_ sub-plot, do we? We've only got eleven minutes."

"Good point," answered The Narrator as Word Girl flew herself and Huggy back to their family with an outfit change. The guy with the megaphone sourly walked by and passed them a ribbon as the show was closed, "And so, with Chuck and The Whammer finally together where they belong, the park contest can finally go on as scheduled, and you can tune in next week for a much more normal, actually action-packed episode of Word Girl."


End file.
